I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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