Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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