Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
