it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
