I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tequila makes me forget i have legs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My penis needs a shock collar
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
