i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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