Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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