hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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