so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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