I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He kissed a someone with a penis
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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