nut hugger
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i think i have herpe
just one?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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