i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
