I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize