??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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