new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
