You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
