Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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