I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
