so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
