im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i dont even know how to be here
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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