insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
