Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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