if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Someone shattered a urinal.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Randomize