I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
