I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
