her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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