Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
