you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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