I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
