im six kinds of drunk right now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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