I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
