i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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