Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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