we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
