if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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