do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize