Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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