put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
