Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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