I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
