you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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