you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
