Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
