I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
