My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
