haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
