Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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