The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
