shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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