My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
God, I missed his penis.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
