YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can you bring me the toilet please
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
