my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
