Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
