We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
