While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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