my being single is dangerous.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my poor anus
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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