Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
