White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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