we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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