just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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