i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize