That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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