there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
