Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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