so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
