I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
