grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
