what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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