It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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